The day I disappeared​


The sky above with its cheery optimism

never gave notice

Soft breezy cotton candy songs

filled my dreamy thoughts

as spiders and ants came from the outside in

it was all to remain a secret

that none of them

thought to share with me


today would be the day that I would disappear…


nothing is more sticky than abuse.

the cold heated emotion

sweeps you over

no warning

no goodbye because it never leaves you

sticks to you like the humid summer air

you learned to hate as a small child

because its what you were taught

along with the fact you are never good enough

not good enough for a kind word

not good enough for a gentle hand

not even good enough to love

in any manner that would prove positive

leaves you in need

always hungry

for some, a meal that never comes

and others, if you are lucky as I

once you place your order

decades later

dinner is served!!

I am full

I thank myself for that ❤




and again I swallow

inky trails of betrayal the pen does so love to spill
makes a fool of me and my sappy ass emotions
normally I would have loved to hate away
slices its way this traveler of my deep dark beautiful sadness
and carves out place on a wall of disappointment
known oh so well to the me that use to be myself
try to choke down the reality of it but truth is I’ve never been one to choke
one big hard gulp and replaying the thought
that a new day will dawn
seems to make what I have to swallow bearable somehow

Daddy dearest

she with razor sharp teeth reached her delicate hand to her perfect lips biting at a hangnail hard and deep taking her time to be sure to enjoy her agony
as the beautiful crimson stream of blood from the fresh wound sprayed up and over her head
she cried out in a need that ripped its way from her gut

you cant hurt me anymore…do you hear me? you can not hurt me any more!

her demonic laughter sheared its way through time and space, into the underworld straight into the belly of the lost and forgotten

driving its way right through his stone cold never to beat again dead heart.

I must

riddle repeats
and I retreat
only to return
like an untrained dog
that doesn’t know any better
sexuality drips from these hips
the beast within has you
leaves you marked
marred even
an unhealthy
beautiful obsession
for some
while it can turn the palest
of weaklings to dust
scratch at the dirt
and leave those bits behind me
i am a cat in the dark
bird on the wing
a bat wanting to bite
and an angel waiting to sing
by blood or by lust
I shall have what I must